ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
