benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
