what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
