We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize