dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
