Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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