i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I believe in your delicious
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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