he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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