I look better un-naked...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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