You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Randomize