the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
