pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
So apparently I’m into choking now
The air taste purple.
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