miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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