He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
