and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
