I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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