I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
That accounts for only three of the penises
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize