Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
