I wish I could punch you in the face.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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