Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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