totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
