so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
