If i come over, it means nothing
wanna go halves on a baby?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Randomize
