His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
