the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
