Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
