put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
nutella sex= disaster
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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