and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
