white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
