Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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