How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
