i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
