I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
