My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
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