I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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