Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
