well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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