After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
