whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
