She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize