I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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