I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
