Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
