just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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