her vagine was all disorganized.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
