I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
either way he was missing a nipple.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize