Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
