So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
