And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
