He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
