i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
