its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
