My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
