wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
