Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
