Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
