So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
