May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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