This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize