Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
