I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
