dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
