the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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