I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
