I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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